Eros and the value of being

pp. 219-257

in: Ralph Ellis, Eros in a narcissistic culture, Berlin, Springer, 1996

Abstract

The remarkable fact that erotic love has survived even under the most various and sundry adverse sociocultural conditions (though it has not always thrived) shows that the need for the kind of transformation offered by eros is a very fundamental one for human beings. Under such conditions, the meaning of the experience becomes like the faint signal of a beautiful piece of music, surrounded by a great deal of static. If we know the piece well, we can appreciate it in spite of the static, because we know what it is we are listening for. In this case, we can hope to block out the irrelevant noises without also blocking out aspects of the signal we are trying to preserve. Similarly, if we understand the ultimate meaning of eros in its authenticity, we can then hear its faint signal amidst the static of both the sociocultural and the intrapsychic problems we have been discussing. In the case of eros, understanding the nature of the static that is masking this signal also helps us to focus more clearly on the signal itself.